Things are really starting to get exciting! My little fishies from the European Sperm Bank USA have been shipped to REACH here in Charlotte and I am counting down the days until my first IUI. I have to start testing for my surge next week. There are days when I question if I should wait and continue to look for Mr. Right and there are days when I know in my soul that I am making the right decision.
Last night I went to my friend's baby's 1st birthday party. After interacting with Baby Isabella, I knew that I was on the right path in my life. As a psychologist, I think constantly about the future and think about the baby not having a father. But, I also think about the children I see on a regular basis who see their mother during the week and their father on the weekends (like my soon-to-be ex-husband does) and about those children who just have a father, or just a mother, or who live with their grandparents, and I realize that "normal" doesn't exist anymore in the modern family. I see children every day who are not getting the love and attention they so desperately need and I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing. I feel that I was born to be a mother. My instincts have been so strongly pulling me in that direction for as long as I can remember. I have always known that I wanted to be a mother and that I would be a fantastic one.
So, I continue on my journey, learning something new every day about myself and about what it is going to take to be a mother and a stronger person in the process. God gives you only what you can handle they say. God also gives you so many gifts. My gift right now is the freedom to reinvent myself. My gift of the future will hopefully be the pitter-patter of little feet. For every couple or woman trying to conceive, I am sending baby dust your way!